Parenting Mistakes

[vc_row thb_divider_position=»bottom»][vc_column][vc_column_text]In this article the author pays attention to obvious problems of adults in education of the child:
A) Stereotypes in education of boys;
b) training of the child in fears;
In article practical examples, traumatic consequences and recommendations for parents are given.

«to get into essence of the ordinary phenomena,
very uncommon mind is required».
(Alfred Nort Whitehead)

Life of modern society and the person in particular, is rather dynamic and many-sided, the certificate to that are the last statements of futurologists for refusal to predict any future. Also the fact that together with multi-vector modification of society, also methods of education of younger generation which modern approaches, receive answers to a question of interrelation of early cognitive and social development of the child between his universal problems of tolerance, a sexism and racism for a long time are considerably transformed is absolutely natural. Apparently, all in the spirit of urgent perspectives of the modern world. In turn, the author pays attention to that fact that promotion of psychological health of a family and the child is practically absent. Often, the incorrect education leading to a nevrotization, disturbing infantilism, stutter For prevention of a travmatization of mentality of the child at early stages is result of it, the author pays attention to two problems:
a) Stereotypes in education of boys;
b) Training of the child in fears;
In article of the author Rozhdeniye of stereotypes, we in detail tell about the nature of false beliefs and we give scientific justifications of this problem. In this regard, here we will not begin to stop on the theory, and we will pass directly to practical examples and recommendations.
Often parents do not suspect that bringing up the child they program in him the exaggerated idea of an opposite sex, it is answered by the phrase::
«stop to behave as the little girl, — real men do not cry»
Do not oppose among themselves gender distinction because it you inspire in the child that for an opposite sex all types of unworthy behavior are peculiar. Try to realize that boys are living people who can cry from physiological reasons. Crying is the way of a natural discharge of an organism which is officially recognized as evolution from a stress. Certainly, in case it was forbidden to cry, then the person will always look for different ways of removal of a stress: drugs, prostitutes, alcohol, casino.
You do not speak with the child language of philosophical imperatives: «real men». The image of such «man» at everyone the and at the moment does not exist the conventional ideal. The scientist and the doctor, the welder and the driver, the artist, the operator — all of them are males, though perform various functions.
Continuing a subject of stereotypes in education of the child, it is necessary to understand that each child is individual and it is not necessary to adjust it to own ideas of the world, also as well as to use the following phrases:
«stop playing about with food»;
Do not try to hang up on the child the level of consciousness and false representations. Outside the 11th century and food ceased to have sacral character.
«well and where you so dressed up?»;
In this case, you stop feeling of an esthetics, call into question search by the child of own individual image and as the investigation — you destroy his imagination.
Do not assume that the child associated a female image with weakness, a capriciousness, infantilism, and respectively a men’s image with roughness, aggression and ignoring of tenderness. For prevention of this set, do not use the phrase:
«girls need to concede»;
«as it is not a shame to you with your words»;
«you are future defender and therefore protect weak»;
Adults, allow the child to decide on a gender image independently! He needs to see that the father is able to wash the dishes too, to give to mother flowers just like that as one more sign of male attention, and mother in turn, can find time for herself in the day off, but not stand on kitchen. Do not try to hang up on the child Vashi of sense of shame and fault, try to solve independently the problems, but not to split them children’s mentality.
In the article «How to Grow Up the Gay» the psychologist M. Labkovsky writes:
«if you feel that you have not healthy relations with the son, do not think out how to behave with him, and think up what to do with themselves to be adequate mother». Certainly, will pertinently address these words to parents of both floors.
In training of the child in various fears, parents and their environment, in the person of the immediate family, take a leading place. It is obvious that the fear is rather effective remedy of management and manipulation, but the author does not recommend to abuse this weapon.
Why the person is afraid and because he in the childhood was told how to do it. For this reason people are afraid of planes, are afraid to spend the night in a cabin of the sea liner, are afraid of diseases: sarcomas, brain tumors, become now popular diseases. The fact that animals react to it oppositely because nobody learned to be afraid of them is remarkable.
Frequent phrases of similar sense:
«do not concern this surface, you will be cut»;
«do not touch this animal, it will bite you»;
«you will not obey, I will close you in the dark room of one»;
These bans and the other «the menacing nonsense», promote development of neurotic fear of death. It is pathological suspiciousness and morbid depression, various fears of a disease, poisoning and other persuasive states.
Repeatedly the author showed to parents ways of communication even with 3-yokh summer kids who well understood the usual speech and practical examples shown as a game or the training minute.
Summarizing the stated material, the author draws the attention of parents to important aspect: at education of the child try to be guided by concrete rules and accurate installations:
Form confidence in the child;
Develop empathy;
Analyze the read books and the watched animated films;
At a conversation with the child use the simple and available speech without allegoric meanings and allegories.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]