[vc_row thb_divider_position=»bottom»][vc_column][vc_column_text]In article the author argues on the widespread problem taking place in the families which are bringing up the child. In particular, aspects of education of children with the broken sight or with other physical restrictions are affected. Classification of models of education and the recommendation about avoiding of undesirable behavior models of parents is given.
Article is focused on a wide range of readers.
What is told by God?
Rodya of the child also release him.
And what is told by a devil?
Rodya of the child also strangle him the love.
It is safely possible to call this format of education the murderer of the identity of the child with the person of an angel. This subject accepts the greatest relevance when in a family the child with sight violation is brought up. We will tell human life about hyper guardianship, as about a way of education invalidiziruyushchy today. Parents should understand that the possibility of independent and active life of the blind person in the company of sighted people, confirms the unlimited potential of a brain! «All in us, a question only in how we will dispose of it». (Shestakov V. A.) It is necessary to develop and involve brain potential, and it first of all depends on conditions in which the child with the broken or absent sight grows and is brought up.
For high-quality dialogue with you, dear parents, I suggest to decide on terminology which we will use in our article in the beginning.
Giperopeka-it giperprotektion-pathological care of the child. It is type of education and relationship, at the level the parent — the child within whom independence, except for biological functions is not provided to the kid.
Traditionally allocate two types of hyper guardianship:
Indulging and dominating;
The indulging type of a hyper patronage is caused by education on type: «child idol of a family».
The main mistake of parents in this case is that is inspired in the child since the earliest childhood that he the most talented, magnificent and clever. Parents hurry to satisfy any whim that in the investigation leads to substantial increase of level of claim of the child (degree of his insistence). Such child begins to aspire to coming under the spotlight, tries to be allocated. These are the relative qualities having the threshold nature because when it gets to kindergarten or in a school class, unconsciously expects in relation to himself, the maximum attention similar to house.
Because most often talents and qualities of such child are strongly exaggerated by parents, average (adequate) estimates of his activity are capable to moral suppression. It leads to formation of esteroidny type of the identity of the child striving for progress, glory and attention. In the absence of it, it appears on the verge of a nervous breakdown. In the teenage period, on the verge of a suicide.
The dominating type of a hyper patronage is caused by the fact that the child is incapable to carry out sometimes tasks, elementary for the age, as grows in belief that he «still too small» and «will make not so». This type of education forms infantile, diffident persons, it is especially terrible when in a family the boy is brought up. In this case there is characteristic a restriction of the sphere of cognitive activity, independence overlaying of the different bans. Life of such child acquires a huge number of rules and the bans. Due to the lack of independence, the need for respect and self-esteem thanks to which the personality finally ripens is not implemented. Within similar education, formation of «psychological symbiosis» is characteristic.
This full merge of the child to parents: He speaks phrases of parents, stating their judgments of the world; The Identity of the child is erased, certainly in this regard it is impossible to speak about formation of the creative and original beginning. Mothers can ritualize farewell and meetings with the child: infinite kisses, enclasping, etc. Rather often similar behavior is not realized by parents, but why? The answer to this difficult question, is covered in unresolved personal problems.
So, for example mothers often sublimate the forced-out problems and experiences from cancelled or unsuccessful family life on relationship with the child. Compensating insolvency of the personal relations, in rituals of meetings and farewells to excessive caress etc. All above-mentioned: shyness, complex, uncertainty, lag in development — slows down socialization of the child in society. But especially sharply this problem can be shown during the pubertatny period where two options of development Are possible: The first — the personality will ripen for a revolt and will try to break a situation. Then nervously and very troublesome will be everything, first of all to parents.
The second — the teenager can reconcile to a situation and so remain «mother’s darling»: infantile, with the underestimated self-assessment, unadapted to heavy reality and its difficulties. I assume that fathers would not like to see own son, with a set of similar qualities!?
Messages including from the young people who faced various problems in life come to my e-mail. In this regard, (with the permission of the author), I consider urgent to give a fragment from such letter, the 19th summer young man. completely lost sight and faced this problem.
«… Giperopeka-one of the main evils and delusions of parents! I do not know how from the point of view of psychology, but in my opinion in it there is nothing good. Yes, nobody says that it is necessary to leave the child completely in free floating, but if anywhere and everywhere to control it and to allow to do nothing, then the personality with a heap of complexes, a little independent and hard joining stressful situations when it is necessary to make independent decisions will turn out, and anyway it will be necessary to accept them. I am silent about household aspects as that self-service, etc. With it there will be problems too if in time not to stop and not to give though any freedom».
«Do not do of the child of an idol
: when he grows up, will demand the victims». (P. Buast)
And now, Having answered questions of the test, you will be able to understand that, your approach to education process is how effective and useful to your children.
Before you 15 statements. At first sight, can seem that not all of them are related to education. Nevertheless, against each phrase note the number of points corresponding to your judgment on the matter.
«Categorically he does not agree» — 1 point.
«I would not hurry with it will agree» — 2 points.
«It, perhaps, is right» — 3 points.
«Quite right, I consider quite so» — 4 points.
1. Parents have to expect all problems of the child to help it to overcome them.
2. For good mother communication only with own family suffices.
3. The small child should be held always strong during washing that he did not fall and did not hurt.
4. Of course, the child does that it is obliged, he is on the right track and thanks to it will be happy.
5. It is good if the child plays sports. But he should not go in for combat sports as it is fraught with physical mutilations and violations of mentality.
6. Education is a hard work.
7. The child should have no secrets from parents.
8. If mother does not cope with the duties in relation to children, it, means that the father badly carries out the obligations for the maintenance of a family.
9. The maternal love cannot be excessive: love of the child you will not spoil.
10. Parents have to protect the child from negative sides of life.
11. It is not necessary to accustom the child to routine homework that he did not lose hunting to any work.
12. If mother did not direct the house, the husband, children, everything occurred less orderly.
13. In a family diet all most tasty and useful has to get to the child first of all.
14. The best protection against infectious diseases — restriction of contacts with people around.
15. Parents have to influence the one which of peers is chosen by the child to himself in friends actively.
If you gained over 40 points, then, most likely, it is possible to call your family detotsentrichesky. That is interests of the child — the main motive of your behavior. Such position is worthy approvals. However at you it is a little pointed. Excessive guardianship. In similar families adults all carry out for the child, try to protect him from imaginary dangers, the force to follow requirements, judgments, moods. As a result at the child passive dependence on parents which in process of a growing more and more interferes with personal growth is formed. You should be trusted more your child, to believe in him, to listen to his own interests, it is truly noticed: «To raise children — means to teach them does without us».
From 25-40 points. Does not threaten to become your child dismissed and spoiled as you give him sufficient, but not excessive attention. Try to keep this level of the relations.
If you gained less than 25 points, then you obviously underestimate yourself as tutor, too you rely on a case and favorable combination of circumstances. Problems business and matrimonial relationship often distract your attention from the child. And he has the right to expect from you big participation and care![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]